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Published on December 11, 2014

Couple drinking coffee

20 things to say–and not say–to your partner

A healthy relationship is a safe haven where we can relax and recuperate from the tensions of life. We need to hear positive things from our partner. Here are some things spouses/partners would like to hear from each other:

  • "Good job!"
  • "You are wonderful."
  • "You look gorgeous today."
  • "I appreciate all the things you do for me"
  • "You are the best friend I have."
  • "I missed you today."
  • "It's nice to wake up next to you."
  • "I will always love you."
  • "I love to see your eyes sparkle when you smile."
  • "I trust you."
  • "I can always count on you."
  • "You make me feel good."
  • "I'm sorry."
  • "I was wrong."
  • "What is on your mind?"
  • "Let me just listen."
  • "You are so special."
  • "I can't imagine life without you"
  • "What can I do to help?"
  • "Thank you for loving me."

There is nothing more painful than having unhealthy communication with the one you love. It is through communication that we connect. The true wisdom is knowing what NOT to say, such as:

  • "I told you so."
  • "You're just like your mother (father)."
  • "You're always in a bad mood."
  • "It's your fault."
  • "What's wrong with you?"
  • "You're always complaining."
  • "I can't do anything to please you."
  • "You get what you deserve."
  • "Why don't you ever listen to me?"
  • "Can't you be more responsible?"
  • "What were you thinking?"
  • "I don't know why I put up with you."
  • "I can do whatever I like."
  • "If you don't like it, you can just leave."
  • "Can't you do anything right?"
  • "That was really stupid."
  • "If you really loved me, you'd do this."
  • "You're such a baby."
  • "What's your problem?"
  • "Do you always have to be right?"
Love + Medicine

Every day, Gundersen Health System delivers great medicine plus a little something extra—we call it Love + Medicine.

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